When I first started my mental health journey, I had no idea what I was in for. I thought it was going to be this neat little path where I’d figure out my “issues” and magically become some balanced, put together version of myself. Spoiler alert: it didn’t exactly work out that way.

In the beginning, I had so many misconceptions—about healing, about myself, and about what it really takes to manage mental health. I wish someone had handed me a guidebook with some brutally honest advice (along with a box of tissues, maybe). But since that didn’t happen, I’ll share a few things I wish I had known before I started on this journey.

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1. Healing Isn’t Linear (And That’s Okay)

I used to think healing was a straight line. You go to therapy, you do the work, and then—you’re well. Turs out healing is more like a messy line with a lot of ups, downs, and sideways moments. Some days you feel like you’ve made huge progress, and other days you’re back in bed with the covers over your head, wondering if you’ve learned anything at all.

And here’s the truth: that’s okay. Just because you have setbacks doesn’t mean you’re failing. It’s all part of the process. I wish someone had told me to expect those ups and downs, and to stop being so hard on myself when things didn’t go perfectly.

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2. You’re Going to Learn Some Hard Truths About Yourself

Therapy is great, but it’s not all warm fuzzy feelings and breakthroughs. Sometimes, you have to face some uncomfortable truths about yourself—patterns of behavior, unresolved trauma, or the ways you’ve been self-sabotaging. Trust me, it’s not always fun to admit these things.

But here’s the thing: those realizations are where real growth happens, and the trick is to be able to see them compassionately. Yes, sometimes I self sabotage, but I’ve always done the best I could do with the knowledge I had at the time and it wasn’t intentional, manipulative or malicious. The hard truths give you a chance to finally address what’s been holding you back. So, as painful as it is to look in the mirror and see what needs fixing, it’s also the key to becoming the person you want to be. And you have to find a way to see it without taking in all that guilt that masks everything.

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3. You Don’t Have to Have It All Figured Out

I thought the whole point of working on my mental health was to finally have all the answers—to be able to say, “Yes, I understand myself and my emotions now and I’m well” The reality is, you’re never going to have it all figured out, and that’s totally fine.

The goal isn’t to have every single answer, it’s to get better at navigating the unknowns. Life is always going to throw you curveballs, and your mental health journey is about building the tools to handle them—not about becoming some enlightened being with zero problems (though admittedly, sometimes I’m still waiting for that day lol).

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4. Self-Care Isn’t Just Face Masks and Bubble Baths

Don’t get me wrong, I love a good bath. But self-care is so much more than pampering yourself. It’s setting boundaries with people who drain your energy. It’s saying no and handling the guilt. It’s taking breaks when you’re on the edge of burnout. It’s giving yourself permission to not be productive every second of the day.

Real self-care often looks less glamorous and more like hard, uncomfortable decisions that ultimately protect your peace of mind. I wish I had understood that from the start—because while bubble baths are nice, they don’t fix deep emotional exhaustion.

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5. It’s Okay to Ask for Help (And Keep Asking)

I used to think that asking for help was a one-time thing. You tell a friend or a therapist that you’re struggling, and then it’s done, right? Except, sometimes you need to keep asking for help. You need to reach out again and again—whether it’s because your feelings have changed or because the support you received wasn’t quite enough.

People around you may forget what you’ve asked for or not follow through, ask again.

There’s no shame in needing extra help, in trying different therapists or support systems until you find what works. Mental health isn’t a one-size-fits-all situation. It’s a constant process of figuring out what you need—and asking for it without feeling like a burden.

Many people want to help you but they simply cannot read your mind unless you tell them.

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6. You’re Not “Broken”

There were so many times I felt like I was broken beyond repair, like something was fundamentally wrong with me. But what I’ve learned is that I’m not broken. And neither are you. We’re just human. Imperfect, messy, and figuring things out as we go.

Mental health struggles don’t mean there’s something wrong with you. They’re part of being alive in this wildly complicated world. I wish someone had told me to be kinder to myself earlier on—to stop treating my mental health as a problem to be fixed, and instead as a journey to be embraced.

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The Journey Continues

Looking back now, I realize that my mental health journey is ongoing. I’ve come a long way, but there’s always more to learn, more to heal. And while it’s been hard, it’s also been worth it. Every step forward—even the tiny ones—counts.

So if you’re just starting out on this path, or even if you’ve been walking it for years, remember: It’s okay to not have all the answers. It’s okay to ask for help, to take breaks, and to show yourself some compassion along the way. You’re not alone in this.

And if you ever need a reminder, I’ll be right here, figuring it out too.