To be effectively managed, pain must be met and acknowledged.

While I often bring lessons from my personal journey, I must admit I am always learning myself.

Today, I’m reflecting on a recent experience that didn’t quite hit the mark for me.

I decided to partake in a group therapy session designed for chronic pain sufferers – a wonderful initiative in theory. Unfortunately, the late scheduling coincided with peak pain hours for me. The setting was less than ideal, harsh neon lighting and sterile, unforgiving chairs amplified my discomfort, while a persistent hum from the air conditioner served as an unwelcomed soundtrack.

The session’s content touched upon mindfulness and meditation – areas that have previously left me feeling skeptical due to negative past encounters where these practices were used to inadvertently imply blame for my suffering. This stigmatized these techniques for a considerable period.

However, with fresh insights and the ability to selectively adopt what serves me, I came in with an open mind.Influenced by psychodynamic therapy, I’ve come to understand that controlling our thoughts is less important than acknowledging and growing from them – an approach that favors authentic emotional experience over the “self gaslighting” I like to call it, that I used to attempt to convince myself and everyone else that I’m fine.

I was hopeful to acquire new strategies to manage pain and share them through this blog. However, the session’s structure was kind of rigid – a classroom setting with an emphasis on note-taking and assigned homework intended to instill lasting change. Regrettably, amidst a lengthy two-hour meeting devoid of breaks, we devoted a mere five minutes to actual mindfulness practice. Much time was spent on theory rather than experiential learning.

I believe that for me, pain greatly involves the connection with, or detachment from, my body. My default mechanism is cognitive analysis, what I need to focus on is connecting with my body. This isn’t a concept I can grasp by thought alone, I must engage in it to learn.

Group dynamics were challenged by unmoderated oversharing from ome participant – a behavior not managed effectively by our instructor. (I recognize that this is not her fault and imagine I was like this too at some point in my life) still, this resulted in an already slow learning pace slowing even further.

This reflection has led me to recognize that we don’t all start from the same point, my years of therapy have provided me with a foundation of understanding about the interplay between mental and physical health that others may not have.

I intend to continue exploring pain management through other means. I am grateful for the opportunity as it reminded the value of this path, which I believe is worth taking, both for personal growth and for the benefit of sharing these strategies with you all.

Take care 💜