One of the biggest challenges in therapy isnโt just what to sayโitโs how to create a space where clients feel safe enough to share. For many, talking about emotions is unfamiliar, intimidating, or overwhelming. Whether youโre a therapist, coach, or facilitator, helping people access and express their emotions is a key part of the work.
Here are 8 practical ways to encourage clients to open up and share their feelings, with and without therapy tools.
1. Normalize Emotional HesitationโBut Offer a Start
Some clients feel pressure to talk right away, which can create resistance. Acknowledge this openly:
โItโs completely normal if you donโt know what to say yet. We can take our time.โ
However, not starting at all can sometimes make the client more uncomfortable. If silence starts to feel stuck rather than safe, gently offer a structured starting point:
- โWant to walk through your past week chronologically and see what stands out?โ
- โIf youโd like, I can ask a question just to get us going.โ
The goal is to make silence okayโbut remind them theyโre not trapped in it.
2. Use Time to Open the Door
Rather than asking, โHow do you feel?โ (which can feel too direct or overwhelming), focus on moments in time:
- โCan you think of a recent moment that made you feel something strongly?โ
- โIf you had to pick a moment from the past week that stood out, what would it be?โ
This approach works well with Emotions in Time cards. Clients can roll the time dice and pick an emotion card that connects to that time frameโpast, present, or future. Focusing on a specific moment often makes it easier to access emotions than asking about a broad feeling.
3. Let Silence Do the Heavy LiftingโBut Use It Intentionally
Silence isnโt just empty spaceโitโs full of information. Instead of rushing to fill it, take a moment to notice it together:
- โI noticed we got quiet after that last questionโdo you think something made it harder to answer?โ
- โAre there certain topics or moments where silence happens more?โ
If silence lingers and starts to feel like a block, use it as an anchor: โDoes this silence feel okay, or like something is getting in the way?โ Recognizing patterns in when and why silence happens can uncover hidden discomforts and help guide the conversation.
4. Shift the Perspective to Make It Easier
Talking about yourself can feel too vulnerable, so shift the focus slightly:
- โWhat do you think someone close to you would say about how youโre doing?โ
- โIf a friend were going through this, what would you tell them?โ
- โWhat would your past self think of where you are now?โ
This creates a sense of distance, allowing clients to access their emotions without feeling too exposed.
5. Give Them Something to React To
Some clients struggle to share when emotions feel too abstract. Having a third object can help make emotions more concreteโthis could be a therapy card, an image, a song lyric, or even a simple object.
๐ Example using โParts in Meโ cards: โPick a card that feels like a part of you today. No pressure to explain why.โ
Letting clients project onto something external before personalizing it can ease resistance.
6. Encourage Storytelling Instead of Labels
Naming emotions can be hard, especially for clients who donโt have a strong emotional vocabulary. Instead of asking, โWhat emotion are you feeling?โ, encourage storytelling:
- โTell me about a time you felt like this before.โ
- โIf this feeling was a scene in a movie, what would be happening?โ
By focusing on narrative rather than labels, clients can access emotions naturally without the pressure of defining them right away.
7. Use Playfulness to Lighten the Emotional Load
Serious topics donโt always require a serious approach. A little humor or creativity can help clients feel more comfortable:
- โIf your feelings had a theme song today, what would it be?โ
- โWhat would your pet (or imaginary pet) say about how youโre feeling right now?โ
Approaching emotions from an unexpected angle can help clients bypass their usual defenses and engage more freely.
8. Make It Okay to Not Know
Some clients hesitate to speak because they feel pressured to have clear answers. Reassure them:
- โItโs okay if you donโt know how you feel yet.โ
- โWe can explore togetherโthereโs no rush to figure it out.โ
By removing the expectation of immediate clarity, you make room for exploration instead of performance.
Final Thoughts
Encouraging clients to open up isnโt about forcing conversationsโitโs about creating a safe, structured space where emotions can surface naturally. Whether through time-based prompts, external objects, silence, or humor, the right approach can make sharing feel easier, more comfortable, and even a little bit fun.
What strategies have worked for you? Letโs keep the conversation going! ๐
