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Home ยป Articles ยป Mental health ยป Disability & Accessibility ยป Seeking Validation in a World That Doesn’t Understand My Disability
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Itโs been over a year since Iโve been able to walk unaided. For short distances, I rely on two walking canes, but for almost everything outside of the house, I need my mobility scooter or wheelchair. Despite this, Iโve been denied a disability parking permit time after time, because what I have isnโt common or well understood. And itโs not just the practical side of things that frustrates meโitโs the emotional aspect of feeling like my struggles are invisible.
Having a disability is hard enough to accept. On one hand, you donโt want to be associated with it. But on the other hand, thereโs something validating about your environment acknowledging what youโre going through. Youโre not lazy, youโre not making it upโyou have a disability. Yet when that validation doesnโt come, when Iโm told “no” over and over, itโs like the world is telling me my struggles arenโt real.
Iโve tried snapping out of it. Iโve told myself to just walk, to just push through, to ignore the pain. But the truth is, it doesnโt work. No matter how hard I try, my legs just wonโt carry me. Something as simple as walking feels impossible, and it makes no sense. Iโve been here beforeโabout a year of this in the pastโand I recovered then. But this time, itโs different. No matter how much effort I put in, itโs just not getting better.
What I need now is that reassurance that my struggle is real. Iโm grieving my situation, while also fighting to prove its existence. I know it sounds strange, but thereโs a deep desire for validation, even from something as cold as a government bureaucracy stamp. As absurd as it is to ask for reassurance from a system, it still hurts when it doesnโt come.
Thereโs nothing I want more than for everyone to be rightโfor me to function “normally” again. But right now, I just want to be seen and understood for what Iโm going through.
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