Hey everyone, it’s Hilit. I hope this finds you well. Today, I want to talk about social anxiety – something I’ve personally struggled with for many years.

My first memories of social anxiety date back to my teenage years. I was always the quiet girl in the classroom, afraid to speak up even when I knew the answers. Looking back, I realize that was my anxiety trying to protect me from potential judgment or rejection. As I entered my teens, this fear of social interaction only intensified. I would spend hours agonizing over what I said, analyzing every conversation, and convincing myself that others must think I’m weird or stupid.

For a long time, social anxiety controlled my life. I avoided parties, gatherings, and any situation that might involve me interacting with peers. I was terrified of being the center of attention, of being asked questions, of eating or drinking in front of others – the list goes on. This fear of social or performance situations in which the person is exposed to possible scrutiny by others led me to isolate myself. I missed out on so much.

Eventually, my anxiety became so overwhelming that I made the difficult decision to leave school. I was just 14. My anxiety had taken over, and I felt I had no other choice. This was a really dark time for me. I struggled with depression, an eating disorder, and even self-harm. I felt so alone, like no one could possibly understand what I was going through.

But with time, I began to seek help. I started attending therapy, which was life-changing. My therapist helped me understand that my anxiety didn’t define me. She taught me tools for managing my fears and gradually facing them. This wasn’t easy – there were many times I wanted to give up. But slowly, I began to rebuild my confidence.

Today, I still experience some social anxiety, especially in new situations or when meeting new people. But it no longer controls my life. I’ve learned that it’s okay to feel anxious, and that these feelings will pass. I’ve learned to be kind to myself, to focus on my strengths, and to take things one step at a time.

If you’re struggling with social anxiety, I want you to know that you’re not alone. It might feel like you are, but there are so many of us out there who understand what you’re going through. Here are some things that have helped me on my journey, and that might be helpful for you too:

• Seek support: This is so important. For me, therapy was key. A good therapist can provide you with tools for managing your anxiety and help you understand that you’re not defined by your fears. Support groups can also be really helpful – just knowing that others get it can make you feel less alone. And don’t be afraid to lean on friends and family. Let them know how you’re feeling, and ask for their support.
• Practice self-care: Take care of your physical health. Get enough sleep, eat well, exercise. These things can make a big difference in how you feel. Also, make time for activities that bring you joy and help you relax – for me, this is art and writing. Do things that make you feel good, and give yourself permission to take breaks when you need them.
• Challenge your thoughts: Often, our anxiety convinces us of things that aren’t actually true. I would get stuck in these cycles of negative thinking, convincing myself that I’d said or done something embarrassing, that others must think badly of me. A therapist can help you learn to catch these thoughts, and challenge them. You can learn to be kinder to yourself, and to focus on the present moment rather than getting caught up in fears of the future or past.
• Take things one step at a time: Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. You don’t have to overcome your social anxiety all at once. Start small – if the thought of spending hours at a party is overwhelming, maybe just go for a little while. The more you practice facing your fears, the easier it will get. Be patient with yourself, and celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may seem.

I know that social anxiety can be really tough to deal with. There are still times when it feels like it’s going to overwhelm me. But I’ve learned that I am stronger than my anxiety. I’ve learned that with patience, self-compassion, and support, it is possible to live a full and meaningful life even with social anxiety.

If you’re struggling, please reach out for support. Talk to a therapist, a trusted friend or family member, or consider joining a support group. And don’t forget to be kind to yourself – you’re doing the best you can, and that’s something to be proud of.

For more information on social anxiety and how to cope, check out this article on my website. And remember, things might seem really tough right now, but they will get better. Keep holding on, and take care of yourselves.